Many people are suspicious of learning about influencing skills because they view them as something negative. For many they are nothing short of manipulation.

I would say that whether your communication is influencing or manipulating depends on your intention and the outcome.

For me, one thing that defines manipulating is when you are trying to make someone do or feel something which is not in their interests. For instance you try and sell something to someone that they don’t need. You withhold information about the requirements of a job so that someone agrees to take it on, only to find you’re asking them to do more than they agreed to. You persuade a friend to do something for you with insincere flattery.

I think of influencing as when you use communication tools that change someone’s mindset or actions in order to create a win-win outcome. For instance, you persuade your boss to agree to your idea because the way you presented it helped him/her see benefits they hadn’t thought of before. You help your teenager see the future consequences of smoking, so he/she decides not to smoke or gives it up and you help them to see they can get the benefits of smoking (e.g. relaxed state, ‘cool’ reputation) in other ways.

Many people who class NLP and Influencing Skills as manipulative often don’t realise that all human behaviour is manipulative in a broad sense. It is all designed to get a certain result or outcome. Everyday behaviours such as smiling, being nice, shouting, sulking, placating, crying and being funny are all designed to get a certain response from someone else. The intentions behind them are quite often selfish.

Another test is whether the outcome is sustainable. Will our behaviour and intention promote long term healthy relationships and outcomes? If everyone acted like this would our society thrive?

What would our politics, businesses, society and relationships be like if we were all skilled in the use of influence backed by integrity, respect, honesty and win-win intentions?

To your influencing success, Madeleine Morgan

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Recently, I gave a talk at the Very Early Lunch Club, a  regular and lively business networking event in Cambridge, about overcoming objections. Here are some of the main points the audience found useful.

When I first started up in business the thing I most dreaded about selling my services was handling objections. I took a few courses on how to handle objections but the approaches we were taught always seemed  manipulative. I felt uncomfortable using them. Then I discovered more about the psychology of selling and NLP and I’ve built up a natural style that is successful and prospects enjoy. Now I have an 89% conversion rate from phone enquiries.

I’ve also shared these successful selling strategies with my clients. Recently a client who had been having difficulty selling a consulting programme for £799 made a sale the day after I had taught her how to have a sales conversation that was tailored to her business. That was an immediate return of 3 times her investment in her time with me and of course she can continue to apply that success formula in the months and years to come.

One thing that really changed my approach to objections and one that my clients have found really effective is to ask the question, ‘What’s my part in creating these objections?’ This may seem an odd question when the objections seem to be coming from the prospects. However, the great thing is that if you ask this question in a curious (not a guilty) way you come up with some really useful answers. Eliminate these objection creating habits and you will find it easier to make sales.

Here are some of my clients answers to how they have been sparking off objections in prospects.

1. They weren’t using strategies to create certainty in their prospects, e.g.     guarantees, trial periods and jargon-free everyday language so that prospects felt they understood the product/service. From my own experience, I know it’s no use selling a computer to me by talking in bytes, rams and roms because I don’t understand how they benefit me. If your prospects don’t understand they are unlikely to ask – they’ll just say it’s too expensive or some other phrase that hides their confusion.

2. They didn’t have a strong USP – unique selling point- that their prospects cared about. Some businesses offer ‘professional service’ as their USP but that is the very least a client should expect from a business. Although you can’t take for granted that businesses will be professional it is not something that you can use to define your businsess as special. No company will say they offer an unprofessional service!

When you don’t have a strong USP you end up making your prospects buy on price. That’s a difficult way to be in business – there will always be someone who can undercut you. You will hear lots of price objections.

Some companies have made a fortune out of strong USPs. I like the one Avis has used when Hertz were the market leaders in car hire, ‘We’re second so we try harder’. I know a leaflet delivery service, LDS in Cambridge, that guarantees that if their leaflets end up in a bin or river because of the negligence of their leaflet deliverers, they will pay for reprinting your leaflets and pay another company to deliver them. That sets them apart from their competition and gives their prospects confidence.

 3. Another sales prevention habits that lead to objections is to go into a sales conversation with negative or nervous mindset. Certainty sells so listen to the thoughts in your head about selling. Are they causing you to lack confidence? If they are your prospect won’t trust you and won’t buy from you. Root out any negative thoughts and self-talk.

Sometimes it’s difficult to get rid of negative beliefs and thoughts by talking logically to yourself. That’s when a good coach or NLP Master Practitioner can help.

4. Not finding out what the real objections are and how to overcome them.

Anyone who has tried to sell a service, product or even an idea will have come across these familiar objections:

• It’s too expensive
• I haven’t got the time
• I’ll think about it
• I’ll have to discuss it with my partner

One real objection beneath those statements might be:

• I don’t understand the value to me

Make sure that your sales meeting shows how the product, service or idea you are offering is way more valuable than the time, money and inconvenience of buying it.

5. Not finding out the hidden objections to your industry. There may be objections your prospects won’t admit to. For instance, many business need a virtual assistant because they can’t afford a full-time member of admin staff but doing those tasks for themselves is stealing quality family or fee earning time. But. they may not buy because those businesses may be suffering from ‘I’l clean the house because my cleaner is coming today’ syndrome. They are embarrassed to let someone see the chaos behind the professional facade.

What are the hidden barriers to people buying from your industry? Are there a lot of rogue traders in it for instance? Make sure that part of your sales conversation reassures the prospect even if they haven’t mentioned the objection.

6. Not ‘qualifying’ prospects. If you don’t ask questions to find out if your prospect is in your target market you could waste precious time and feel unnecessary frustration. They’ll come up with loads of objections.

7. Not adapting your selling style to the personality of the prospect. For instance, if you are the type of person who doesn’t like detail and you try to sell to someone who likes facts and details without giving the detail to them, you’ll not win the trust of your prospect. They’e unlikely to buy from you unless you adapt your style to theirs and give more detail. One way you can find out what your natural style is, is to take a personality test. A very good one is FACET5. Then you’ll also find out how you will need to adapt to sell successfully to prospects who are not like you. 

8. Presenting your product, service or idea before you’ve found out what the problems are and what they’ll cost if they’re not fixed. You can probably talk for hours about your products and services. But you can’t offer a credible solution before you’ve found out what the real problems are. ‘Prescription before diagnosis is malpractice’ and is likely to cause your prospect to find all kinds of objections or buy and then experience buyer’s remorse.

9. Answering the ‘What does it cost?’ question before you’ve demonstrated the value of your product, service or idea.

10. Offering too many choices. It creates confusion and uncertainty for your prospects and uncertain prospects don’t buy.

So, if you check your sales strategy and eliminate these ’sales prevention habits’ you are less likely to have to deal with objections.

To your Natural Selling success, Madeleine Morgan

You can also download free personal and business success tips at www.growu.co.uk